(4) Milady

That Saturday could not have gone any slower, the day just seemed to drag on and on. He had tried to keep himself occupied, he set out an outfit that seemed perfect for the evening he had planned out, he cleaned the car, twice, responded to some emails, cleaned the car one more time and called the restaurant to confirm his booking.

At 5 he went to pick her up, still nervous. He really wanted to make a good impression. He walked up to her door holding a bouquet of lilies and rang the door bell. He heard her shout “just a minute” from somewhere behind the door and a short while later she opened the door and he couldn’t help but draw in a sharp breath. She was looking radiant in a blue strapless A-line dress and a white scarf tied loosely around her neck, her hair falling over her shoulders. He suddenly got self conscious of how he was dressed and felt like he should rush back home and change into something more, what’s the word, exciting. but it was too late.

She squealed when she saw the lilies and planted a kiss on his cheek as she ushered him into her apartment. “I have to get these into water before we leave, thanks so much for the flowers, they are beautiful” she said as she took them from him and walked to the kitchen.

He looked around her house, her sitting room was roomy, with a large cream sofa to one side and a single chair at the corner, close to the large windows looking over the street. next to the chair was an antique table. a lamp with a pink shade was seated on the table and couple of books next to it. one of her walls had a well stocked bookshelf and he could see everything from textbooks to fiction to historical books. On the bookshelf there was a small Bose CD player and a couple of disks stacked up next to it.

“I love your home, it looks amazing”

“Thanks, I got it from my father actually, he bought it when he was in the city and rented it out when we were born, said he wanted us to grow up in the country, where we could play outside and explore freely. ”

“Ah, nice” he responded, looking for something witty to say but failing. “Shall we leave then, we have reservations at 6”

She locked the door behind them and they walked down the stairs in silence, him trying to think of something to break the silence. Say something you idiot, anything! His brain shouted at him.

“Your chariot awaits Milady” he blurted as he opened the passenger door for her as he kicked himself, Your chariot awaits Milady? Really? That’s the best you could come up with?

“Aww, such a gentleman” she responded as she skipped into the car, flashing him a big smile as he gently closed the car door behind her.

Not bad, he told himself, but you’ll have to do so much better than that during dinner.

 

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He looked across at her, opening up his heart, telling her how sad he was, how things had been so great before but now after 2 years of being together he felt unwanted and undesired by her.

“It’s like ever since she got pregnant my presence disgusts her, she gets moody when I’m around and nothing I do can make her feel better. I’ve tried everything, buying her presents, wooing her just like when we first met, taking her out for dates but nothing seems to work. I don’t know what else to do and how to do it.”

He didn’t know why he was sharing this with her, but she was his oldest friend though, she had been the one that he’d opened up to so many times before on things that even he didn’t like admitting to himself. He had never seen her in a sexual way, except for that one time that they were in uni together and he tried to make a move on her but she rejected his advances, telling him that she didn’t feel the same way he did.

I’m so sorry she told him, as she reached out and held his hand in hers. I really wish things were better for you. You’re such an awesome guy and you deserve the very best in every way. Sometimes people don’t know what good they have and just take things for granted. She said as she moved closer to him looking deep into his eyes.

He looked back and realized that he had never noticed that she has amazing eyes, big and brown with a smoky quality to them. His eyes wandered down to her lips and for some reason he really desired to feel her lips on his. He licked his lips subconsciously wondering how the kiss would be like.

It seemed that in that moment she must have been thinking of the exact same thing because she leaned in and kissed him deeply. He was shocked for a minute but recovered rather quickly and kissed her back, passionately, one of his hands was entangled in her hair and he used the other to pull her closer to him. He hadn’t felt this way in a while, felt wanted, felt the passion, not since… Not since she moved in with him… Alice, her face swam into his mind, he thought of her and the baby, he couldn’t do this, what was he doing! He couldn’t betray her like this. He loved her, only her and noone else could take her place in his heart, he knew that, so what was he doing!

He pulled back from her and stood up quickly, I can’t do this, he said, I can’t, I love Alice, I love her even if we’re having issues I love her, I can’t betray her like this. This is wrong, you can’t betray your husband too. No, we can’t do this.

He picked up his jacked and walked out the door, half running out. He didn’t want her to say anything to try convince him to stay. He had already made a commitment to Alice, through the good and the bad, they had a future planned out together, he couldn’t see his life without her. He was not going to compromise, he was not going to throw away what they had just because things were hard.

He drove home quickly, walked I to the house and saw Alice lying on the couch reading a book.
So, you’re back, where is the pizza and ice cream I asked you to come with?
He smiled, walked up to her and kissed her, she looked at him auspiciously.

What was that for?

No reason apart from I love you and I’m sorry I haven’t been more supportive lately.

Now’s when you’ve realized that? She asked, and you stink of onion rings, go wash up first before you come close to me. She said as she pushed him away.

I will but first I have to tell you something. I was with Joyce today. We were talking and, well, uhhmm, she kissed me.

What! How dare she

I’m not so innocent too, because I kissed her back. But I broke the kiss off as soon as it started, he added quickly while jumping back to avoid the book that had been aimed at his face.

I’m sorry my love, I’m really sorry and I promise that it’s never happened before and it will never happen again.

You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? She was standing now, reaching for the table side lamp to throw at him and he had to think fast. He went up to her and held her close. She was shaking in anger, sobbing and hitting his chest repeatedly. He felt terrible, he knew he deserved this, he knew that he never should have let things go to that level, that he shouldn’t have even shared with Joyce intimate things about his relationship with Alice.

It was his fault, he was a cheat and he had to make it up to Alice one way or another. He had to do better.